“A gentleman is a patient wolf ” – Henrietta Tiarks.

 Anal sex is still taboo even though this part of the body has great orgasmic potential  and is a delightful part of our sexual organs.

I once was scared of the pain too, and it was an intense yet pleasurable experience. The deeper he went, the more pleasure I felt.

I had a very supportive and open partner who was patient, slow, talking to me, and most importantly making sure I was comfortable throughout the experience.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t last long enough for me to experience orgasm, and who could blame him, between my moans and all the sensations, the pleasure was too intense for him.

For most women, the biggest concern is discomfort and physical pain. Anal sex can be a very pleasurable experience leading to a special bond between each other.

The most common objections I hear from men and women are:

  • It’s dirty.
  • It’s painful.
  • Anal sex is unnatural and it’s an “exit only.”

What most people are not aware of, are some of the more delightful options available from proper anal stimulation.

The above objections are all valid concerns, but I’ve experienced painful vaginal sex as well, because it wasn’t done right – there was too much friction, not enough care, no finesse, and no patience.

With proper care and awareness, pain is avoidable during anal sex. Being patient, gentle and using lots of lubrication is key for anal pleasure.

The anal canal has some similarities to the vaginal canal.

  • Anal Canal also contains incredibly sensitive internal walls because of all the concentrated nerve endings.
  • The reason anal sex can be painful is because the walls inside the anal canal are much thinner and more vulnerable to pain than the walls inside the vaginal canal.
  • The entrance of the anus (anal ring), just like the entrance of the vagina, is surrounded by lots of nerve endings, which can give her variety of pleasures.

Kristine Whitmore from the Pelvic Floor Institute has been quoted as saying: “Anal stimulation can trigger the same nerve pathways as deep-vaginal orgasms.”

I’ve spoken to a few women who have experienced anal orgasms and they say it’s a very deep and powerful sensation.

The anus is a receptive organ, but it needs to be courted with care. The best way to ensure her that it will be painless and pleasurable is by starting slowly and patiently while creating a safe space for her.

There are three main areas that need to be relaxed and opened graciously.

  1. The anal ring /sphincter muscle is the gateway to the anal canal.
  2. The anal canal is the gateway to the rectum.
  3. The rectum is for more deep and energetic penetration.

Anal Sex -Confidentlover.com


You want to start with massaging her butt cheeks. Some women hold unexpressed sexual energy in their legs, thighs, and butt.

Massaging her butt and thighs can awaken the sexual energy held in those areas. The butt has two acupressure points right in the center of each butt cheek.

Anal Pleasure


Work your way inwards toward her anal ring (sphincter muscles). The key is to relax the sphincter muscle, as this is the gateway to the anal canal.


Communicate, Communicate, Communicate – It’s very important that the woman knows how to receive and communicate what feels good and what doesn’t.

If she’s not giving you verbal guidance, pay attention to her body language to know if she wants you to go deeper or not.

When you have good collaboration, you will notice her body opening up naturally where the tension turns into exquisite pleasure.

Final Thoughts…
We are all learning how to do it safely, ecstatically and painlessly every time.

  • Does anal sex require some getting use to? Of course.
  • Is there an art to it? Absolutely, but it takes time to learn how to paint, be patient.
  • Can it sometimes be messy? Sure, practice good hygiene, avoid curry, and if she’s constipated, I really wouldn’t recommend exploring the anus.

The anal sex you see in porn movies is NOT how anal sex should be practiced – not even close.

What do you don’t see in porn movies is all the preparation that goes on behind the scenes – starting with an enema.

For some people (men and women), they are simply not into it. It’s an off – limits zone and they are not willing to try it.

Slow is better because there is a special energy and connection that you reach once you open her pleasure pathways. You don’t want to ruin any future attempts by rushing or using the wrong approach.

Check out the Confident Lover Video Course on Anal Pleasure to discover:

    • The best toys and lubrications to use.
    • How to properly arouse the anal ring.
    • Her psychological and physical concerns.
    • Best positions for penetration and stimulation.
    • The importance of relaxing her PC and sphincter muscles.
    • How to stimulate the G-Spot and the A-Spot through the anal canal.

Love & Pleasure,

Christina Antonyan

Christina Antonyan

Mae West once said a man's kiss is his signature and anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
I created ConfidentLover to help men understand the fascinating and mysterious female sexual anatomy. Techniques are important, but they’re nothing without a deeper understanding of women and what turns them on.
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